If I ask you for a hand at work, can I count on you? Studies have shown that, as children, 86% of women are taught to be nice to others. But only 34% were taught to share their points of view (KPMG Women’s Leadership Study, 2015). So being nice to others comes naturally for most of us. But women are also taught to be competitive with one another and, because of the limited opportunities available to them professionally, they are sometimes more guarded. They may find it natural to assist a friend personally. Yet fear that by helping an associate professionally, they will hold themselves back.
Additional findings from the KPMG study reinforced the challenges that women face:
- 76% of women today wish they had learned more about leadership and had more leadership opportunities while growing up.
- 67% of women said they need more support building confidence to feel like they can be leaders.
- This lack of confidence affects women in so many areas resulting in 92% of women saying they do not feel confident asking for sponsors.
- 79% lack confidence in seeking mentors.
- 76% are not confident asking for access to senior leadership.
- 73% are hesitant to pursue a job opportunity beyond their experience.
- 65% do not request promotions, and 61% are not confident enough to even ask for a raise.
I can certainly be confident that these study results are not surprising to most women, perhaps only that the percentages are higher than expected. In every area that reflects women being confident and asserting themselves, more than 50% of women are hesitant. When we consider that fact, we can see how difficult it is for women to succeed. These results reflect the way society has encouraged women to behave in the professional arena.
Women Supporting Women
Women engaged in the business world have all encountered other women who have been their managers, clients, and co-workers. We know that other women can be our best friends or treat us badly. These women can be the most supportive boss or the one you dare not cross.
According to the journal Development and Learning in Organizations, 70% of female executives report having been bullied by other women in the workplace and, as a result, suffered setbacks in professional growth. Yet, many of us are also aware of the women who supported us and helped us achieve our goals, those who were selfless and amazing mentors. The KPMG study results reflected that 67% of women reported that they had learned the most important lessons about leadership from other women. In reality, these lessons are learned from both positive and negative experiences. So the women that we encounter, whether good or bad, can teach us much and have an impact.
The Harvard Business Review’s article, Research: Men and Women Need Different Kinds of Networks to Succeed from 2019, identifies that women can benefit from being actively engaged in networking. However, the greatest benefit that women receive is from maintaining an inner circle of close female contacts; through their close contact networking, women can find information on who is hiring, salaries, and promotions. When women connect closely with other women, they can learn about an organization’s culture toward women and identify organizations supporting women. In addition, this strengthens their pursuit of professional roles and promotion opportunities.
With or Without You
An interesting result of the Harvard Business Review Research is that women with a close inner circle of 1-3 female contacts secure leadership positions that provide 2.5 times more authority and pay than those women without a close circle of female contacts. Although women without this network did achieve leadership roles, comparisons showed they were the lowest in authority and pay. We can see how important this small number of close contacts with other women is to achieve successful progression.
Sheryl Sandberg’s 2013 book, Lean In, talked about women and leadership. The book and subsequent community, leanin.org, advocate mentoring and encouraging other women throughout their careers. This year journalist Brooke Baldwin authored a book titled Huddle: How Women Unlock Their Collective Power. The huddle is groups of women of all ages, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds joining together to support one another. Huddling as Baldwin defines it is women showing up for one another and revealing their collective power.
The Path Forward
Some simple yet, cardinal rules for women to support other women:
- Treat others the way you also wish to be treated. Something quite simple, but we don’t always remember this when we are in difficult situations.
- Give other women at work credit for a job well done. Be vocal in supporting your female co-workers.
- Do not participate in the negative talk in the office concerning co-workers.
- Participate in women-only networking groups or events.
- Support capable women you know are looking for new opportunities.
- Create your own huddle.
- Most importantly, be a mentor. Offer your time and set up meetings to share your skills and experience.
Let’s yield our collective power and support one another.
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